Always With Love Read online

  Funnily enough, our relationship never used to be this sexual, but it seems to have ramped up a gear since he made his big move to be with me, which I hope isn’t just down to the boredom of village life. I wouldn’t say I’ve ever thought of myself as an overtly sexual person – in fact, quite the opposite. Yet having someone actually want me in that way while being in a loving relationship is something I’ve only ever had with Billy. Not that I was a virgin before he came along, but what I’d previously experienced was nothing compared to what we have now, something I realize more and more with the wonderful thing called hindsight.

  Grabbing my blue polka-dot swimsuit from the drawer, I whip off my top, quickly step into the leg holes and start pulling it up. I’ve lifted it just as far as my knees when the door flings open.

  ‘You’re awake!’ Lauren sings, bursting into the room without a single knock or ounce of warning. I’d stupidly assumed it was still locked.

  ‘Whoa,’ I yelp in shock and yank the stretchy material upwards, getting flustered as it gets stuck over my butt. Hastily trying to cover up my naked body, my face flushes instantly bright red as I turn into a sweaty panicking mess.

  Lauren, however, doesn’t bat an eyelid as she continues into the room and throws herself on the bed, even though she’s still dripping wet. In fact, she’s totally unbothered by the fact that she’s seen my naked breasts, bush and bum (I stupidly turned around while covering myself up, meaning she’s caught a glimpse of the triple whammy). Lauren’s indifference must be the result of having two older sisters. Needless to say, my upbringing as an only child who shied away from any sort of human interaction and a mother who had her own demons to deal with means I’m absolutely horrified and not at all aloof about being found so incredibly naked by anyone other than Billy.

  ‘Great swimsuit,’ Lauren praises.

  ‘M&S,’ I mumble, tying the straps in a knot behind my neck and turning back round to face her.

  ‘Killer body, too,’ she says with a grin, looking me up and down.

  ‘Thanks,’ I blush, making a mental note to make sure the door is locked any time I’m changing in future, while wrapping myself in the white robe I spot folded on top of a chest of drawers.

  ‘How do you eat all those cakes and still have a figure like that? I only have to look at a cupcake and I’ve already gained ten pounds. I’m seriously contemplating gluing my eyes shut – think it’s for the best.’

  The way she delivers her comment with such flippancy makes me laugh. She’s funny. Naturally so. Plus, she still manages to give off this friendly, chilled-out energy even though she’s seen me butt naked.

  ‘I don’t eat loads of cakes – I just bake them,’ I admit, pulling my fingers through the knots in my hair and tying it back into a ponytail.

  ‘How can you cook but not eat them? That’s ridiculous.’

  I laugh. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I do have days where I just sit and scoff, but those days are few and far between … and usually instigated by Billy.’

  ‘I bet,’ she tuts, rolling her eyes at the thought. ‘You have to make us some while you’re here. Billy says your cakes are amazing.’

  ‘Well, he does love his cake.’

  ‘He’s got such a sweet tooth.’

  ‘He does,’ I smile, thinking back to when he first came into the shop and ordered a slice of lemon drizzle cake. ‘Well, I’ll make you something. Is it OK to use the kitchen, though?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Will Dee mind me going in there and using it?’ I ask, not wanting to step on anyone’s toes.

  ‘You’ve not met her yet, have you?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘She’s the sweetest little thing ever. Completely goes with the flow and doesn’t get het up about anything. Anyway, it’s our kitchen. We’re not barred from it. It’s our home. Believe it or not we’re allowed to go in and help ourselves whenever we like, too. We don’t even need to ask,’ she might be being sarcastic, but it’s enough to get her point across – which is the same as Billy’s. They’re not living in some upstairs-downstairs arrangement like in all the classic books I read (which is possibly why I’ve been resistant about the whole set up). This is modern-day service, where everyone is considered a human and can integrate on a personal level.

  ‘That’s good to hear.’

  ‘Come on,’ she says, shuffling herself off the bed and towards the bedroom door whilst pinging the waistband of her bikini bottoms (it seems to be a habit of hers). ‘Grab your sun cream. You might have a body to be envious of, but that lily-white skin is going to burn quickly if you’re not careful.’

  I take her warning on board, while managing to stop myself from blushing at her compliment, and grab my sunglasses and a bottle of SPF50. Better to be safe than sorry, I can’t remember the last time my body saw sunlight.

  ‘You’re awake, finally,’ shouts Billy when we walk out of the double doors on the ground floor and into the swimming pool area. Like the rest of the house, it’s seriously beautiful. The pool itself goes right up to the edge of the garden and seems to just stop, giving a lovely contrast between the calm, tranquil water and the busy-looking city ahead. White sun loungers and umbrellas huddle around the water’s edge on cream stone flooring, and to the left, on a huge wooden decking area, is a barbeque, bar and more cosy seating space, all surrounded by pretty pink, purple and red flowers. Dipped into the decked area, towards the front, is a hot tub that bubbles away and still manages to look inviting even though it’s a scorcher of a day.

  ‘I can’t believe you let me sleep!’ I say to Billy, dropping my sunglasses case on a sunbed and squirting some cream on my hand before rubbing it into my legs, the sun’s piercing heat on my back and shoulders reminding me that it really is a necessity.

  Lauren wastes no time in getting back into the pool. Stretching her arms along its edge, she leans back and faces her head towards the light. She looks like a Hollywood film star.

  ‘You looked too cute to wake up,’ Billy says, his smile growing as he squints up at me, looking ridiculously handsome in the glow of the Californian sunshine.

  ‘Pass me a bucket,’ mocks Lauren, pretending to be sick in her hands as she waves them in front of her mouth. The spell of glamour breaks.

  ‘I’ll give you a bucket,’ replies a grinning Billy, bouncing through the water and grabbing hold of her foot. He tugs on it, causing her to let go of the side and her face to dunk into the pool.

  She splutters and wipes the water from her face, then quickly retaliates by jumping on his back and forcing him under the surface.

  I gasp, thinking they’re being too rough with each other (Lauren’s a girl, after all and extremely dainty compared to Billy) but clearly I’m the only one that thinks so as the two eventually come up for air, cackling with laughter.

  ‘You’re such a git,’ Lauren shouts, scooping a handful of water in his direction.

  ‘You asked for it,’ splashes Billy, running his hand along his face and wiping the water off with a flick, before shaking his fingers through his hair and sweeping it all back out of his eyes. ‘Coming in?’ he asks me.

  ‘Not if you’re going to do that to me,’ I warn, unwrapping myself from the dressing gown and dropping it next to me.

  When I glance back, Billy is looking at me with a cheeky smirk.

  I squint at him against the glare of the water, as I gently nibble on my bottom lip.

  He takes a deep breath and dives under again, completing a couple of laps before coming back up for air. He’s laughing when he wipes the water from his eyes, unable to wipe the saucy expression from his face.

  ‘I’ve booked a table at Little Dom’s for dinner,’ calls Julie a few minutes later, peering out from one of the windows above. ‘That OK with everyone?’

  ‘We’ve got an event we’re going to,’ says Hayley, coming out of the house with Jenny in tow, each of them having changed into matching floaty kaftans that sparkle and blow gently in the LA breeze.

&nbs
p; ‘Tough,’ barks Julie, not missing a beat. ‘Your brother has just got back.’

  ‘What’s the point in asking if it’s OK with us if you’re going to tell us we’re coming anyway?’ retorts Hayley, her hands on her hips as she swivels around to look up at her mum with an eyebrow raised.

  ‘Just being polite,’ Julie smarms back, letting her oldest daughter know that it’s non-negotiable. She might be outnumbered by her offspring, but she’s certainly still in charge and the boss of the household. ‘Table’s booked for seven,’ she calls out to the rest of us. ‘Didn’t want to do anything too late as I guessed you two would be jetlagged.’

  ‘Thanks Mum,’ calls Billy.

  ‘Can we go out afterwards?’ asks Jenny with an innocent little shrug, her eyes glancing over to Hayley with hope. It’s clear that these two have a very close bond, but that they also have a good cop/bad cop thing going on. One fights mean, the other treads softly afterwards and restores order. I can’t help but wonder how that makes Lauren feel. She’s not privy to their exclusive twin gang and surely that must get lonely.

  ‘Only if Billy doesn’t mind,’ Julie replies, her head ducking back indoors.

  Both the girls’ heads swivel round to look at Billy with wide imploring eyes.

  ‘Of course I don’t mind,’ he laughs. ‘I’m going to be eating for England though, so don’t expect to be going anywhere fast,’ he teases, pulling himself up on to the pool’s ladder and out of the water.

  ‘Erm, dad bod,’ scoffs Hayley, looking him up and down.

  ‘Erm, what bod?’ he snorts, rolling his eyes as he heads over to me. He grabs a neatly folded black towel from one of the sunbeds and shakes it out before wrapping it around his waist, looking uncomfortable at the scrutiny his body is receiving.

  ‘You’ve been away far too long,’ she retorts with a raise of the eyebrow and a practised pout of her lips.

  ‘It’s when male actors relax and gain a bit of squidge,’ Jenny clarifies as the duo perch on adjacent sun loungers in the shade. ‘Somewhere between a six pack and a beer belly,’ she continues.

  ‘I do not have a beer belly,’ mutters Billy, clearly offended.

  ‘No, guys with dad bods don’t have beer bellies,’ shrugs Hayley, as if her comment is meant to be far from the insult it was delivered as.

  ‘Don’t fight it – it’s fashionable, big bro,’ laughs Lauren from the other side of us, picking up a magazine and flicking through its pages.

  ‘Can’t wait for a bit of Little Dom’s. It’s been ages,’ Billy shrugs, choosing to sidestep the topic as he unwraps his towel to expose his body once more, proudly standing with his hands on his hips and, in my eyes, looking pretty darn perfect.

  ‘Meatballs?’ asks Lauren, knowingly.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Yuck. How can you do that to your bodies?’ asks Hayley with disgust.

  ‘They’re both on a gluten, meat, sugar, everything-that-tastes-good free diet. Like most girls in LA,’ Lauren whispers to me with a smirk.

  ‘We heard that,’ says Jenny, looking put out.

  I’m just about to start some small talk and move the conversation on to something away from food and body type when I feel Billy’s arms squeeze around my waist before lifting me up and waddling the pair of us over to the pool.

  ‘Billy, what are you doing? Put me down!’ I shriek through laughter, just as Billy steps from the edge and our bodies splash into the cool water. ‘It’s bloody freezing,’ I gasp as I come back up for air and push my hair out of my face.

  ‘You’ll get used to it,’ Billy laughs.

  He’s right. The more I kick and move around the less my body shivers at the chill around me. In fact, it’s actually not that cold, just a lot colder than being sat on a sun lounger in the sunshine.

  Still holding on to my waist, Billy pulls me closer to him and guides us to the furthest part of the pool so that we’re facing the gorgeous city skyline and away from the house and his family.

  ‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ he whispers, kissing my wet shoulder. ‘Sod doing this without you.’

  ‘You said it was all sibling teasing,’ I say, leaning my head lightly on his.

  ‘Yeah, but too much of this and I’ll end up with a headache,’ he laughs, straightening his head while giving it a little shake. ‘I’d forgotten what it’s like.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Being with my loving family,’ he says, throwing his head back and letting out a big laugh.

  I smile at the sound, loving the warmth of it.

  ‘Bloody dad bod,’ he huffs.

  We perch there with our arms resting on the side of the pool, quietly looking out at the busy city below and enjoying the peace around us. We’re up here in paradise and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m loving every second of it – even the spikiness of family dynamics. It beats growing up in a household of despair and misery. At least they had family members to wind up. I was left with only one member and I was too scared to even talk to her in case she broke.

  But this?

  This is much more pleasant.

  5

  Dinner is amazing. Little Dom’s is incredible. I’ve never been to Italy, but this restaurant is like being given a chunk of it. The smells, the tastes, the friendly waiters with their thick Italian accents and bushy moustaches, it all feels authentic, cosy and inviting. I love it.

  As soon as we sit down, an array of goodness is carried out to the table on direct orders from the chef. Having heard Billy is back in town, they’re clearly bending over backwards to give their VIP guest extra special service. They politely fuss and ensure we have everything we could possibly want and more. Likewise, the guests in the restaurant all show Billy a spot of love too: ‘welcome back’ drinks are discreetly sent over, business cards are exchanged and friendly conversations shared. It feels as though a bubble of excitement surrounds Billy – something I’m not used to seeing back in Rosefont Hill, where he’s largely managed to blend in with the locals. This feels alien to me, but I can’t help but smile at the friendliness of it all.

  The chatter between the Buskin family seems to have simmered down and is a lot calmer and more enjoyable too. For a start, the twins are in much higher spirits (even though they’ve sat and watched everyone but Julie eat plates of delicious meatballs) and no one appears to be trying to wind anyone up. It’s lovely.

  ‘So what do you want to do while you’re here, Sophie?’ asks Clive, who has managed to splatter tomato sauce everywhere, decorating his white shirt in bright red freckles (much to Julie’s dismay). Not that he seems at all fussed – he’s far too laidback to worry about how he might look.

  ‘Oh, I haven’t really thought about it. Just get to know you lot,’ I smile sheepishly, looking back down at my plate, while kicking myself for feeling shy around Billy’s family.

  ‘That’s it?’ asks Jenny, screwing up her face in dismay. ‘We’re fairly boring.’

  ‘That’s fine by me,’ I shrug, realizing they’re probably all aware that I’m not the wildest girl Billy’s brought home to meet them.

  ‘There must be something you want to see. The Hills, Rodeo Drive, Venice Beach? The Walk of Fame?’ suggests Julie, listing the various tourist sites with her fingers.

  ‘Or there’s Disneyland?’ shrugs Lauren.

  ‘Oh, yes!’ says Julie, seeming surprised she hadn’t thought of it before.

  ‘I thought Disney was in Florida,’ I say.

  ‘This is the original one,’ nods Julie, eagerly.

  ‘It’s magical,’ adds Lauren.

  ‘Aren’t you a bit too old for all that?’ asks Hayley grumpily.

  ‘Disney is for all us dreamers in the world who believe anything can happen …’ smiles Lauren.

  Hayley raises an eyebrow in response but remains quiet, clearly biting her tongue.

  ‘It’s a wonderful place,’ declares Julie, siding with her youngest daughter.

  ‘You hate it there,’ Billy exclaims, looking at
his mum as though she’s gone mad.

  ‘No, I don’t!’ she gasps. ‘I used to hate going there with five screaming children who all wanted to go in different directions, but me and your dad dip in every now and then and take in the atmosphere … it’s really quite magical watching people’s faces light up in wonder.’

  ‘That’s so sweet,’ I say, imagining the two of them wandering hand in hand in front of the iconic castle.

  ‘Vom,’ says Jenny, unable to stop one side of her mouth rising into a smile.

  ‘I always wanted to go to Disney in Paris when I was younger, but …’ I stop, realizing the reason we didn’t end up going on the holiday that so many children dream of was because my dad died. I look at the people I’ve only just properly met with my mouth wide open, pausing mid sentence. ‘… but we never got around to it,’ I mumble into my glass, hoping my discomfort hasn’t resonated too loudly among the group.

  From the silence that’s descended on this usually chatty bunch I guess they’ve managed to fill the void of my sentence for themselves anyway. These days everyone knows my heart-breaking past thanks to it being used as a piece of idle gossip in the tabloid papers last year. It’s common knowledge now. Just an incidental fact about the girl Billy Buskin is dating.

  ‘Billy!’ we hear someone shout across the restaurant, thankfully deflecting the attention from my awkwardness. I look up to see a grey-haired man in his late fifties striding over to our table, his face pink and jolly, clearly excited to be bumping into Billy.

  ‘Richard,’ Billy smiles, standing up briefly to shake the man’s hand. ‘How are you?’

  ‘I’m good, buddy,’ he says, gently patting Billy’s arm as he smiles at the rest of the table. ‘I heard you were coming home for the holidays.’